TEARS AND FEELINGS ARE YOUR FRIENDS.
Death or any kind of loss is a very difficult time for anyone to go through. I have always felt that the death of a child must be the most devastating loss of all. However, we don’t want to minimize loss of any kind. As painful as it is to lose someone through death it can also be devastating to lose someone when there is betrayal also and many bitter feelings as we realize that the one we trusted so very much has not only gone but treated us in a cruel and unusual way, or at very least, left out life under a shadow. We can be left reeling and hurt and in some cases we no longer want to go on living.
Pema Chodrin in her book, ‘When Things Fall Apart’ says that when everything disintegrates we can either awaken or go to sleep. She suggests this is the time to discover our true selves and we are to stay with the shakiness, the grief and the fear and all of our feelings and relax into the chaos. She says this is the time even if we desire revenge, hate or hurt, or feel hopeless that as we reach our limit we acknowledge these feelings as our messengers. They have come to teach us. Will we choose war or peace? She suggests that when we meet the place that we are about to die that we can stop struggling and look into the face of what is threatening us. As we keep on moving (keep doing these tools and reminding ourselves of truth) we will move forward to brighter and better days. The force of the feelings will soften us and open us to a new day and to new ways. We will get through this. The very fact that you are reading this shows the depth of your commitment to yourself and your desire to move forward. I am so sorry that you are so hurt. I am so sorry that the pain is so difficult, but I am excited that there is a new tomorrow and that you are willing to go there. I hope in some way we can go there together and know that we are all one.
There is reason in all things. As we change our mind, and our thoughts we change our vibration. As I went through my deepest grief I would think over and over of others who were suffering also. I dreamt of the day I would share these tools with you. I hope they bring some measure of comfort and light to your life, as they did to mine.
One thing is certain, if we are to go through grief we have to accept that we will be releasing a lot of tears and feelings. Grieving demands that we feel.
Nothing will work if you don’t actively do it. If you do I promise you that you will see a difference and yes, you will cry. Crying is healing and it is something we have to go through when we are in grief. Crying is part of the grief process that we do not get to stop, (unless we use temporary fixes and then we just have to deal with it all later.)